Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Distance makes the heart grow fonder

I got to talk to the love of my life today =) He's still in 29 Palms which sucks, but at least I got to talk to him. This is the first time we've talked that Vincent has been awake, and Ryan got to hear him cry...I could tell from Ryan's voice when he said hi to his son how happy he was to be able to hear Vincent. We didn't get to talk for long, just long enough for me to tell him how deathly ill I've been, and how nice everyone at church has been, especially Lynnette, my visiting teacher =) He gets to take 2 weeks off soon after he gets home, and I can't wait to spend that time with him and Vincent! When we were saying goodbye and I love you and all that good stuff, it reminded me of when we were dating and talked on the phone every night for hours on end...when we were still giddy and nervous and shy...I liked being giddy again =)

I realized today as I was trying to get Vincent to take a nap how blessed I really am to have him in my life. I knew having a baby was a blessing and a privilege, and I knew/felt that after he was born, but with the loss of sleep, the pain, and the loss of sleep, I kind of forgot that. Now I'm sick, exhausted, and missing a husband, but I have a baby. A child that loves me, a child that chose me about 11 months ago to be his mother here on Earth. I love Heavenly Father sooo much for giving me this opportunity, for showing me that He has enough faith in me to trust me with His son. I know I need to do my best to teach Vincent everything I know, raise him in the Gospel so he can have the knowledge to once again return to Heavenly Father. I may not be the perfect example of what to do, but the things I have done, whether they be right or wrong, give me experience so that I can teach my son to learn from what I've done. I know he'll make his own mistakes, and I plan on allowing him to make them...not everyone can learn everything from others' mistakes. I just hope I can teach him to try to make the right choices, so that one day he can meet a beautiful young woman and be sealed to her as I was to Ryan. That was and still is one of the best things I have ever done in my life (next to having a baby with the one I love). Ryan and I may disagree on some things, and I can be a bit controlling (ok, a lot controlling) which causes a few heated discussions occasionally, but I am so happy with my life and where I am right now, and it all started with being sealed in the Temple. I want the same happiness for my son, and it's mine and Ryan's job to ensure that he has enough knowledge to make the decision if he wants to be sealed or not. Enough rambling, I have to get to sleep while I can...my little blessing only sleeps for so long =) I do love my life. I love my family, I love my friends, and most importantly, I love myself.