Having a baby is definitely a different experience! I'm not gonna tell you all the bad things 'cause I'm sure you've heard it all before from people who don't think you're ready or people who don't think you know what having a newborn means...like the fact that you're gonna be tired...really? Who'da thunk it?! I want to offer positive encouragement and advice =) It's kind of a "what I wish I'd known/advice I found very helpful" list.
-While you're in the hospital it's ok to let the nurse take the baby between feedings. It doesn't make you a bad mom, just a tired one.
-If they offer you stronger pain killers (after you have the baby) aside from the ibuprofen they'll probably give you, take it if you need it! Don't try to tough it out, it'll just make you more irritable and tired. My dr. prescribed Vicodin for me while I was in the hospital, and I was afraid to ask for it 'cause I didn't want to seem like a druggie or anything. I suffered til the 2nd night I was in the hospital when the night nurse offered it and I took it...I was pain free and happy within 10 minutes! (It also helps with nipple pain if you're breastfeeding...Vincent latched on wrong and bruised mine...)
-When you get home, don't worry about the household chores, seriously! I'm sure you've heard it before, but it's important advice! Once Ryan's mom left I ignored that advice and tried to do it all...not a good idea! I'm still having trouble with that one, with Ryan being on pre-deployment training for a month, I'm the only one home to be able to do the chores AND take care of the baby.
-Tell your husband to get his rest too. There are going to be random times where you really are just too exhausted to hold your baby anymore, and he's going to have to take him from you. Don't be the mean kind of wife that makes their husband be awake every feeding just because you're awake =) If it's time for him to eat and you're exclusively breastfeeding (not pumping either), and you hit that point of exhaustion, it's ok for him to cry while you lay down for a couple minutes.
-I strongly suggest pumping every once in awhile (if you plan on breastfeeding) just to have some milk stored up just in case you need to leave him with your husband or a babysitter, otherwise they'll get to deal with a hungry, constantly screaming baby. And try to get him used to taking both the bottle and the boob...some babies don't like the fake nipple so it may take a few tries. (I use Breastflow bottles by the First Years...the nipple is supposed to function more like a real one so they have to exert the same amount of energy to get the milk out. They came with my pump and I love them!)
-Lactating is a pain in the butt. For about the 1st week I suggest using washcloths instead on nursing pads. Or a pad and washcloth together. I super overproduced in the beginning, and in between feedings (about every 1-2hrs), I would leak through my pad, bra, shirt, and soak the bed. I went through a lot of clothing before deciding to use washcloths. You may get lucky and produce just enough, but take precautions =) It's been 3 weeks and I still overproduce, just not to the point of leaking through everything every 2 hrs.
-A Boppy is not necessary. I used it for about a week once we got home. It started becoming too much of a hassle to have to remember to grab it, it was always cold on my bare stomach, and it was 5-10 more seconds of hearing a crying, hungry baby. I sit on my bed with one (or both) legs bent and use my leg to rest my arm on.
-When people say "I'm here if you need anything," they typically mean it. (Unless it's that annoying relative or "friend" that you know is just saying it 'cause they know it's what they're supposed to say.) So if you ever need an extra nap or just time to yourself for an hr or 2, call one of those people up and say "Hey, can you watch my baby for a couple hours before I pass out on him?"
-Hopefully you have a good relationship with the people at church, at least your visiting teacher, home teacher, and Relief Society President. Those 3-4 people are the biggest lifesavers on the planet! They'll typically make you food the first week (if you ask for it or make sure you tell them which day to bring it if they offer), they'll either watch your baby or find someone else to watch your baby when you need it, and they're nice to vent to when you want to complain about how tired you are and how many diapers you had to change the night before =)
I cried every night for the first week. I was tired, in pain, had no time for myself...if I saw a pregnant woman on tv or even all my preggo friends' pictures, I got a scared feeling and wanted to warn them that there was really a baby in there and that they don't know what they're getting themselves into. I felt like a horrible mom 'cause I was afraid of my own child...feedings were hell and when I heard him cry 'cause he was hungry I wanted to run away 'cause my nipples hurt so bad. Sister DeCato (Lyn), Chase, and Chase's now wife Shelby were all staying at our house and it was very overwhelming. Lyn doesn't talk quietly (you know how those Filipino women are!), and Chase doesn't know the meaning of quiet in general. So even if I tried to sleep when Vincent was sleeping, I couldn't. Either because they kept me up, or they woke him up. I was too mean to tell people to shutup =) After the first week, everything starts to fall into place. If you have a decently easy labor and delivery like I did, you'll be pretty much healed up (at least to the point that your hoo-hah doesn't really hurt anymore), your milk production won't be so crazy (even though that will still take a little longer to really even itself out), and you'll realize by that point that it's really ok for him to cry =) Everyone kept telling me that it would get better and soon I wouldn't be so tired...etc, but I didn't believe them, mostly 'cause they were all "old" and hadn't dealt with a newborn in 20-30 years...I thought they couldn't remember that it had actually taken them like, 3 months to get better. But they were right (coming from someone who just had a baby)...each day feels like it drags on, but soon enough the first week is over and you're better. Not 100%, just better =)
